Dijonnase nase nase Dijonnase ase ase

For some reason that jingle is worming its way through my head at the moment, probably because I just finished making a corned beef and swiss sandwich, so was spreading the mayo and the dijon mustard on my bread.

I'm currently embedded up to my eyeteeth in some dirty data and loving every minute of it.  I'm working on a Proof of Concept project for a new friend of mine.  * shrug * it's made this week wonderfully interesting and I love being engaged with real data once again.  Vizzy Solutions:  "We clean your data so you don't have to!" is one of my slogans.

It's 90 degrees in Seattle.  I was not meant for this weather.  Still, I have no dread of Monday.  I pick up some friends flying in from France tomorrow.  Yes, I have another interview but what people seem to be looking for are database administrators and while I can build a database...let's just say, I like playing in the fields of database administration, but do I wish to memorize the architecture types, worry about backups, security, etc.  Erm.  No.

So, Vizzy Solutions has made its first attempt at finding a client.  I've cleaned and created some preliminary charts, maps, and graphs for an independent winery.  There's some more interesting stuff which could be done as well, but "proof of concept" - yeah, I could do this.  And I've called some friends in to see if they'd be interested in 1099ing with me.  They are.  Who knows how far this might go.  If it can go.  I have nothing to lose and beautiful data to sharpen my skills with.  And boy, does my ETL work need sharpening... LOL

But back to the harvest..

Pinged more than once

Okay, okay, it's been a while... But I wasn't ready to serve up disillusionment, disappointment, and distress.  And since I fake about as good as I cook, the hearts and roses shit just adds up to a big smell.  Things are getting better though and I've gotten pinged more than once about, "What is going on?  How are you doing?"  As usual, in the interest of expediency, I'll post a blog entry.

My Burpday week was The Wurst.  Really.  In fact, the whole month of March stank. It was so bad it was nearly cosmic.  My project was cancelled, yeah, sure, but worse than that was Davie projectile womiting like Linda Blair without the levity.  Somewhere along the line he'd acquired "vertigo" - source unknown.  After his "not associated with a stroke" / Yes you will get an MRI, honey (I said with a smile),  he was rear-ended a week later and the truck tailgate is doomed, but Davie was alright.  Sore, but otherwise okay, still a week after that he strained / sprained a calf muscle and it blew up like a kiddie balloon.  Yes.  There were a number of miseries.  Thank heavens, nothing serious, but ugh-y anyways.

Things began to get better in April.  I started updating my profiles and getting calls.  All I gotta say is that, no, I'm not a database administrator no matter that your job description calls it data scientist.  Data scientists / analysts don't give a fuck what data architecture is implemented.  That's the database administrator's job.  We just want our data streams integrated, and rapidly please.  And so here begins my sour grapes rant:

While there are many people interested in my profile...far and wide... mostly it's the big companies around here sending their hounds after me.  Still, there is a lot of sexier competition than I, who are much more complacent and don't look a hiring manager in the eye and say, "Say what?"  I'm tired of  my own bad attitude and I've decided to play chicken:  I'm working on a startup idea and if it launches and I get a paycheck before I get a viable job offer, I'm gonna stick with it.  I'll talk more about it later, but the current interview process would be hilarious if it wasn't so outrageous.  Apparently there are so many zombie candidates out there that the tech interviews need to be insulting, time consuming, and just plain awful.  "Write a sql statement which selects a sum of sales orders by month."  uhm...  what?  I talk to so many candidates who are just plain t-i-r-e-d of taking these pop quizzes which don't reflect what they're capable of, or how they'd handle not knowing something.  Then there's the "Rubik's cube" kind of question, to "see how you think."  Uhm...  those can sometimes take days to figure out. Then there's the technical ones which seem to be forced memorization of crap like "program a Fibonacci sequence".   Worse, are those interviews for things like analyst positions where they ask questions about database architecture.  W-T-F?

When I think of all the interviewing of others I've done in the past, I knew they wouldn't know my

networks, or what we did each day.  There was no freakin' way.  So it was all about trying to find someone who had something to say, had some personality, and gave a sense that they could fit with the daily chaos and figure out - by themselves - what needed to be done and how to get there.  We also interviewed for people who were different than we were, who had skills we didn't have and didn't know about.  Sure there were mistakes, but hey, that's life.  Mistakes get promoted, and that's the way the world works.  All that griping said, my name is being floated for architectural level stuff, but nothing about that goes fast.  So, who knows, I don't.  

In the absence of a job which isn't bounded by a hamster wheel or a tiny idea, I've started working on building a new business plan for a company I'm calling Vizzy Solutions.  The idea is to bring "Big Data to Small Business," and it's targeted toward the businesses which don't have the resources, or even truly the full-time need for an analyst, but could use help consolidating their data sources and combining the information for a holistic report view.

artist:  Brenda Reid

It's an idea I've had for awhile, but killed it because I couldn't find the correct target market.  Then I was approached by someone who is working within a market I might be able to create a package for.  Now I do have a target audience and I'm working to put together the package build, the business plan.  I've talked to others who have deep backgrounds and / or I've worked with and they find the space and idea interesting.  They're interested in playing in the sandbox if I can get it going.  They are  a Stanford PhD in statistics, a GIS analyst, a database administrator, and a civil engineer who just got a "data scientist" certificate through Galvanize.

They're all smarter than I am, but they don't think my idea is stupid.  In fact they've all kinda wondered how to go about getting it going, or how to do the work on their own.  For me, it took meeting with an independent marketing person who works with wineries who got all excited hearing I'm all about data, Excel workbooks, and analytics.  I'm working with the marketing / sales person to see what it will take to put together package deals so the service model is similar to the Accountant or design firm.  We're going to focus on offering the same type of value, except in data.

But yes, I'm still interviewing...

Do Not Let the Bedside Win

If there is one piece of advice I could give to those who find themselves newly unemployed, that is to keep to the same pace of work that they're used to.  You'll just need to spend your time working at tasks other than what you might be familiar with.  

The sabbatical is a dream for many people in the tech industry.  When I speak to people about how I've spent my time since my last position, what I've been doing, the training I've taken, the conventions I've attended, the programming languages I've played with, there is this pain filled sigh they release.  This is usually followed by an "Oh man, that sounds so good."

Being able to take the training that you want, when you want is a luxury.  Unemployment is viewed with suspicion.  I'm not quite sure why that is.  To me, it smacks of victim blaming:  "Her skirts were too short, she deserved It."  "He shouldn't have walked alone down the street that night."  That sort of thing.  The fact is that in our culture we expect people to remain on the hamster wheel until they drop dead at their desk, or they hit "the age."  Otherwise: "There Is Something Wrong.  Red Flag!  Red Flag!"

If you've followed the standard advice & socked money away in case of a layoff (hello!!! Uncertainty in the job market has been going on since the devastating layoffs of the '70s, and really, well, since FOREVER - Hello Industrial Revolution), you have an opportunity.  One which shouldn't be wasted. 

Job searching is painful.  Brutal on the ego, often times anxiety ridden because your efforts are met with a wave of incredulity, suspicion, and cynicism.  Still, it is an adventure, an exploration, an opportunity to add to your skills, and frankly - there's a lot of personal growth which can come of this time.

Hopefully, after your initial shock, you take your "vacation time" but then begin to set your clock to get out of bed to be "at the office" - bankers hours.  No joke.  Set yourself a specific time when you will be "at work."  Because you will be doing work.  I, myself, begin my day at my desk or heading out at 8am.  I usually wake up between 5am-6am (when I haven't done the menopausal wake up at 2am, fall back asleep at 4am), and never any later than 7am.  If you need to set an alarm to get your ass out of bed.  Set it.  I don't care if you don't have breakfast, go drink coffee, or spend your time doing yoga, just don't let the bed conquer your will.  

Set a course of action for your day is a scheduling problem we've all worked with in our professional lives.  Frankly, I work two weeks in advance.  Yes, I'm scheduled out, booked nearly solid every day, with events, training webinars, meetups.  This month is NaPoWriMo - National Poetry Writing Month - so I'm writing a poem a day.  Make sure you have planned days to hustle your submissions

into the Applicant Tracking System BLACK HOLE.  Set yourself a weekly target.  I can tell you response rates will vary widely according to season.  Call back some of the recruiters you liked and see if they have anything for you.  If you haven't had a recruiter contact you, and you have more than seven years' experience, something is seriously wrong with your LinkedIn / Indeed / Monster / TelecomCareers.Net / Dice / CyberCoders entries.  I'm your friend.  You can contact me and I'll go look at it and give you some feedback.  Take up reading technical / business related blogs.  Catch up on the industry news you haven't had time for.  Now might be the time to learn about how to launch that business / app / game idea you've had rolling around.  Although, one piece of advice I did receive is that if you have worked with only one company (like I did), or in one industry (like I did), it would be good to get some work experience with another company or another industry. 

I've also taken up getting up from my desk, adding more exercise into my life - even if that does include shopping.  LOL.  So make sure that this time off includes time for pleasurable events you otherwise haven't had time for.  Settle in at an independent coffee house on a Tuesday morning drinking a cappuccino in a wide mouthed white ceramic cup.  Pour a heap of sugar on the top of the white foam, and watch the foam turn to a light brown as you mix it in with the sweet and the espresso.  Sip your coffee slowly while you nibble at the ends of a croissant, the flake so crunchy they burst around you making a mess at the table.  

Buy a small notebook and carry a pencil with you.  Consider your options.  How little can you live on?  Contemplate downsizing, moving to Italy or Portugal, or to Key West.  Desperate times call for desperate measures, think of how your skills might be transferable into becoming a magician's assistant, or a personal assistant.  Conquering the world is over-rated anyways.  It's too much work.  There's little or no downtime when you are building an evil empire.  

For some, these small luxuries I'm writing about will still be not enough.  I can tell you from a friend's experience who's gone through quitting one job, moving between two others, and experiencing two layoffs (i.e., lotsa mobility), 2015 was weird.  W.E.I.R.D. Weird.  He didn't get any nibbles on his submissions for months.  Then everything picked up in the fall.  Me.  I went from a 1:20 response rate to a 1:2 during the months of November & December.  I'm running a 1:2 right now, even if it's negative.  

What I can tell you is that this time since I walked away from the tt is not what I call "unemployed," or even "looking."  Because I'm not.  I'm fully employed with various projects including my writing.  

---

“Don’t aim at success— the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect...

Frankl, Viktor E. (2006-06-01). Man's Search for Meaning . Beacon Press. Kindle Edition. 

---

Some weeks, I'm over-employed, exceeding 40 hours of work related to meetups, technical talks, conventions, poetry, blogging, webinars, and working on my portfolio.  Am I looking for a job?  Yes.  Yet I turn down more requests to interview than I submit.  Interviewing is exploration, it's meeting new people, hearing new things.  Being new myself.

There are many reasons to "want" a job, including financial necessity.  I can't speak to that at this point.  I can only speak to the experience of having the opportunity to step off the hamster wheel, breaking the mold, trying to find another way to earn a living.  If you have this opportunity of sheer time separated from financial necessity, it is a blessing.  Take a deep breath.  It is spring and the lilac are blooming.

best wishes,
-a

Frog Kissing

So no, not all fairy tales have happy endings and sometimes a frog is just a frog or the parties Prince Charming's Mum puts on to marry her son off breaks the Kingdom's bank and since all the money's spent, the search for Cinderella cannot take place.  It could also be that Sleeping Beauty didn't like waking up to some strange man sticking his tongue down her throat.  Turns out she wasn't eighteen anyways, but a wee bit older and more experienced than Charming realized.  Who knows.


My adventures have always started off rocky.  Once there was the time my brother, I'll call him Moe, picked me up from college to take me on a five-hour motorcycle ride home.  It was my first  "Born to be Wild" adventure.  The spectacular event was highlighted by a wipe-out making a tight curve.  We hit gravel, the bike slid out beneath us going sideways.  I remember tucking into ball as I flew over my brother's head.  I landed like a snow angel in the middle of soft green grass looking up at a blue, cloudless sky.  I'd missed the road stake by 3 feet.


After I graduated with my first degree, one in East Asian Studies, my brother Larry and I (I'm Curly, ya see) rented a U-Haul and drove from Georgia to San Francisco.  I had an acquaintance who was willing to let me stay with her while I got my feet under me.  Larry and I arrived with pennies, quarters, and nickles rolling around in one of my empty stationery boxes.  I woke up the next morning knowing I had to abandon that dream and let my grandma bail me out and ship me, my record collection, and sheet wrapped dirty clothes up to Alaska.  Where I met my future husband seven months later.

We later left Alaska to attend engineering school in Arizona.  See, neither of us had lived in the desert and so being tired of Alaskan winters thought living in the desert would be cool.  Dave went first, I kept my job in Fairbanks and planned to follow when he was settled.  The car broke down on Dave when he was at the highest peak along the AlCan highway.  It was the water pump or something, and luckily he had a spare - but it was the wrong size.  Now this was late September, so there was already snow.  He had to hitch rides to get to a motel, to pick up the ordered parts, to get back to the car.  I don't remember all the mechanical details, but I do know he ended up having to drive without the engine cooling system, so could never really just pull over or idle the car or it would overheat.  I arrived in Phoenix a week after he did, having sold all of my books and knitting supplies, but having packed all my shoes for shipping that same day.  All I had were the snow boots I'd worn on the plane.  I walked barefoot into the shoe store in Phoenix to buy a pair of summer shoes to last me until mine

My first job in Phoenix lasted five weeks.  It was at a newspaper.  The job was advertised as writing for a small neighborhood paper.  Turned out - it was cold-call sales and the owner was a screamer.  Walked away from that one.

I wish I could say that arriving in Seattle had some epic moment, but the moment itself was epic.  Dave and I drove 24 hours straight from Phoenix in our Hyundai as it lost pieces along the way.  Still, the moon roof worked and I remember lying back that night as we were driving and watching the stars in the dark sky of a traffic-less I-5 somewhere in California.

Neither Dave nor I had jobs waiting for us with either of these moves, yet we had some of the best times of our lives after the shit hit the fan.  But to cut this long story short - yes, I'm looking for a job again.  The project was cancelled.  I was laid off. I learned a lot in a short period of time, so that was cool.  I now have experience with those data sets and metrics, so that satisfied that bit of curiosity.  Now I have to try marketing data.  Definitely not worth doing a three hour commute for though and this also reinforces that I shoulda stuck to smaller companies.  Those were my two big "No"s and I gave into them.  Ahhh well... curiosity and cats 'n all.

So my luck usually gets better after...
 

2015 - The Year I Lived Dangerously

Some women collect diamonds,

others collect husbands or lovers.

I collected socks with the F-Bomb in it.

I know some very talented people are leaving in the next two weeks.  To those of you who asked and received the pink slip - yes, it is fun.  To those of you to whom it was unexpected - there's no reason why next time it can't be better.  You have the talent.  You've worked with networks and systems beyond the experience of what I've been able to find "out here" in the outside world.

Will it take more time than you planned?  Most probably, yes.  But that's because everyone I know operates at such a high level that you will be intimidating to those who are unfamiliar with how truly complex wireless telecommunications / mobility is.

Other carriers are hiring.  SQL / query skills are valuable.  Cloud networks are congesting b/c no one knows how to engineer for high-demand, high-availability.  Monster.com garnered me my best recruiter responses.  Monster's changed something between the September / November time frame and it was noticeably easier to be "found."  Recruiter "spam" is a positive indicator that your resume is getting pulled in for interest - it's proof your SEO is operational.  Read about the company on glassdoor.com before you get too excited.

Enjoy yourself.  Eat brunch on a Tuesday.  Walk the beach.  Sweat the interviews.  Take a spring break, or plan for a summer one.  Pick up a cappuccino and a croissant and people watch at your favorite bakery.  You will have days where you feel bad, so you need to have places and things in place which make you feel good.

Who knows... I might be joining you faster than projected, but my first week was amazing and terrifying and wonderful.  I love the Director's vision.  I love the group dynamic.  The team leads are sharp and smart.  Of course, I'm too brash and bold, not like a contractor at all but a veteran FTE with 25 years in one of the most treacherous industries on the planet.  Of course I've had people beginning to laugh a bit around me.  They even pulled a practical joke.  I've also been prohibited from singing ( *smiles*).  If anything might get me kicked out, that would be it.

This will probably be the end of Badbatical unless / until I go willfully unemployed again.  I'll pick up my travel blogging at soyouthinkyoulikesushi.blogspot.com if I ever decide to pack my bags again.  That won't be for awhile.  We're gonna sock money away first and think about travel second.

Thanks for encouraging me to continue to keep you up to date, to write this blather.  I loved being missed.  And you are missed by me.  May we meet again in another life.

Much, much love and admiration, and ping me on LinkedIn if you need me.

-a

I was able to get my own pencil. In less than 5 minutes.

Yes.  The office supply closet is unlocked.  The door is open.  They have pencils, paper, and sticky notes.  There is even scotch tape.

I'm drinking a company subsidized Diet Coke

My PC and laptop are up, running, and I'm logged in.

I have my Orca card for commuting.

My health insurance is great.

I know nothing about this industry, but listened in on one of the meetings.  It was so cool.  Very interesting talking about Halo 5.  Yes.  I'm embedded in the XBox Business Intelligence Data Science group.  WHOO-HOO!

Me: Preparing for my new work enviornoment

Lightning Struck

13 months ago, I walked away from a wonderful, frustrating, engaging, amazing 25 year career in wireless telecommunications where I had the opportunity to work with such fabulous people.

We changed the world, we did.  We ripped networks, implemented new technologies which were obsolete before we finished installing their first generation; we deployed over the air data at rates which beat the landlines; tested satellite communications; did big data before big data was cool... Sheez.  When we started it took 10 people to budget / build / and maintain an entire network we used to figure.  Now, there are nearly as many connections as a human brain.

But yep, I walked away.  The chaos I thrived in was tidied.  There was a process for everything and everything had a process.  I'd helped build those and the standards. I'd seen the network grow and contract, domains split  But we know I suck when it comes to following the rules - even rules I, myself, might have made. 

I spent the next 13 months learning how the world had changed since last I looked for a job. 

I just accepted an offer today.  I'm moving into a data science role as a Senior Consultant with Design Laboratory to work with Microsoft's Shared Services BI group in games.  GAMES!!!!  I still can't freakin' believe it.  Nope.  I can't.  I'm excited/scared.  I start the 21st.  Now I gotta go scrub my mouth out with soap for practice. 

Yep.  I got the industry leap I was hoping for.  Nope.  This consulting gig doesn't fall under an 18 month thing. 

My biggest weakness:  "I left my network of engineers and lab rat friends behind when I walked.  That network was a source of strength."  I can't ever thank you all enough for your help and support over the years.  I love you.  Thank you.  You made me a better person and we did amazing work together.  And thank you for your laughter and support even after I walked.

That said, I had to turn down two other companies which were still interested, but hadn't offered.  When push came to shove, I had 24 hours to make a decision, but honestly, I was really impressed with the one I accepted.  The consulting firm is small, but the job is with a big company again.  It's in Redmond.  Again.  But it's games.  It's building new systems for analytics, it's metric design.  and it's in Games.  It's the industry I wanted and with one of the only divisions I'd cross the water for.  There were only two other companies I was willing to do that for.  All the others, I turned away.

So, remember y'all.  Sing often.  Laugh much.  Compliment each other when you're not cussing each other out.