You will never get the answer just right

One of the best pieces of advice about job hunting I got was from one of my lab rat friends, Mike.  He said, "You need to have a story to explain why you left."

That is the only question I've found for which everyone, and I mean everyone asks.  After that - all bets are off.  Still, you need to have a few basic scripts.  These are the questions I've come to expect.

That will segue into "What are you looking for?" which is closely related to, "Why did you apply for this job?"  Which brings back my memories of my favorite question to ask people during an interview, "Why the fuck would you want to work here, are you nuts?!"  (I can't remember if I consistently used the f-bomb or not).  And considering I was always the "ringer" thrown into the interview process, I know no one could adequately prepare for me.  Anyways, I was always looking for the aggressive, mean types and everyone is always on their best behavior.

Then there's the salary question.  You will never get the salary question correct, so just plan on having a script and knowing that you will be weeded out at times because you don't fill in the blanks properly.  However, I consistently find that both my own career counselor plus others who help people find work advise against making it easy to give a firm number.  Here is my script - a patchwork cobble from a variety of sources.  I paste this stock answer into fields on forms, use it in the phone screen.

I'd be glad to share not only my current earnings, but my whole salary history. But I think it's a bit too early to get into salary discussions.  I don't believe the immediate salary will be an issue if the fit is right. There are several factors I consider when evaluating the "fit" of a position: the company, challenge, the culture, location & commute impacts, the amount of travel required, the career path, long-term compensation possibilities, vacation and bonuses. So, if the fit is right, I'm confident salary won't be a problem.  However, if you let me know what your range is, I can usually give a nod or no.

You will get pushed, so only when push comes to shove (and there are actually people who have lots of really good articles about how to avoid that shove through negotiating skills, I just am not the best example, so I collapse) use your current salary minus 4 or 5K and then add 10.  Make sure you know your bonus structure too, as well as the historic aspect of your bonus structure.  But that range will place you in the overall hierarchy.  Of course, with the recent changes in the bonus structure, that will look like, well, I dunno.  You're going to have to work out your own "story."

One of my biggest problems is that I've been applying to jobs for which I am too senior, both in experience and in salary.  After talking to Marianne about how I was recently "shoved" into giving a lowball number for a position I was interested & applying for because I was interested - but didn't have all the requisite skills - it was apparent that not only would I not get the job, but I was continuing to shoot myself in the foot by apply for such a position.

After the "never get it right" salary question, are the "never get it right" technical questions.  Yes, I'm continuing to run through the technical interviews, but now I am letting people know they will be disappointed if they want me to take a "40 question multiple choice."  (I've been out of college quite some time, it sounds like 'you' are looking for a recent college graduate.  I don't believe we would be a good fit.") or try to whiteboard syntax perfect code (I'm not a CSE, neither am I a statistician.  I am an engineer who has primarily worked in query language and done statistical analysis as part of the job.").  One of the most recent technical questions I was asked to describe the fields in a PowerPivot.  I've worked with two, three times.  I told 'im I'd only been 'exposed.'  Whatevahh... you give it the Good 'Ole College Try.  Besides, I'm me.  I'm used to humiliating myself.


Anyways, off to read some more job openings.  I only have one phone technical interview this week so far.  Oh, and a call back to another recruiter.